“We’ve had a hundred years of psychotherapy and the world’s getting worse.” This brilliant quote from James Hillman embodies why Grey Matters International and the thought leadership of Dr. Kevin Fleming continues to be one of the fastest growing alternatives to mental health concerns out there today.
While shrinks, medication and talk-based counselors seem to temporarily soothe us all, rarely do we get true behavior change---true breakthroughs in patterns of ‘being you’ that sabotage relationships, health, happiness, and success. Leveraging cutting edge neuroscience-based tools, technologies, and no-BS style of communication, Dr. Fleming has helped hundreds and hundreds of clients on 5 continents look deeper at how we can all end up solving the wrong problem really well if we trust our brains too much in verbal dialogues around how we say we want to change.
Knowing there are layers of self-deception that are rarely challenged in psychotherapy settings which look more at incomplete notions of “normal vs. pathology”, Dr. Fleming & Grey Matters International believe human transformation is different than just downing some problematic symptoms. Rather, we believe we all need to think radically different about our thinking, and come up with a toolkit that features the best of what the future of neuroscience can offer us. To do this, Dr. Fleming believes as healers we need to be a lot more humble with with how can fall in love with our “being right” with people we work with.
Humility, wisdom, humor, and information on “the neuroscience of decision making” combine for a recipe of change rarely seen in mediocre talk therapy sessions that miss the irrational realities of the brain. As Dr. Fleming frequently say, “We all don’t resist change, we resist being changed.” And when run of the mill counselors keep coming at the brain the same way to get you to change, there is only one frustrating outcome possible. Time to outsmart your brain with a way of change that matches reality, and is what Einstein said many years ago: “No problem will ever be solved on the same level of thinking it was originally created on.”
Grey matters international, INC. Dublin
Clients can decide to have their work done with Dr. Fleming at their desired location (home, getaway location if a retreat is desired, or some other neutral locale), as he travels to clients for private intensives of all types---one on one work, couples programs, addiction treatment, and all types of group/team/family facilitations. Also, clients sometimes desire to fly to one of Dr. Fleming’s locations if that is preferred logistically for both parties. All this work is about meeting clients where they are at for the most effective way of getting them powerful behavior change solutions---fast.
Client engagements typically include upfront phone interviews to assess fit, comprehensive assessment and either face to face work for our cutting edge neurotechnology program of influence, or for direct facilitative work w/Dr. Fleming himself. After some form of interactive face-to-face work where clients ---to use a former client’s words---“get more done in 2 days with Dr. Fleming than years of therapy”, a longer term follow up plan of care is enacted, if needed, and that can be done either via all-access, on demand virtual support of Dr. Fleming or with some sporadic ongoing regular face-to-face intensives. All plans customized.
Common client concerns worked on with Dr. Fleming:
- Addiction and Compulsive Habits
- Sleeping problems
- Depression and anxiety
- High Conflict Situation
- Pervasive Unhappiness and Stuckness
- Emotional reactivity and anger
- Couples/Marriage Breakthrough Sessions
- Family Facilitations
- Executive Wellness & Coaching
No Insurance accepted. Higher end flat fee retainer model of work, negotiated per client issue and requisite plan required. Credit cards accepted, as well as financing provided
Predoctoral Internship in Professional Psychology (1998-1999). Purdue University
Postdoctoral Residency in Behavioral Medicine (1999-2000). University of Wyoming
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing relationship issues related to abandonment, reducing and relieving symptoms, while addressing their root causes:
Abandonment comes in many forms, but leaves similar scars. The negative impact that this type of trauma can have on someone cannot be understated. The feelings of apprehension and anxiety that are associated with this form of loss can pervade every relationship that follows in that person's life, whether intimate, social, or business. Fear of abandonment can cause significant impairment and result in a diminished quality of life. But with appropriate treatment, even individuals who struggle with overwhelming abandonment issues can learn to manage them in a healthy and productive way.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing adoption related issues and their impact on your family and relationship, reducing and alleviating symptoms, while addressing the root causes:
Adoption is a lifelong process for everyone involved, with significant emotional and legal impacts. The classic "Seven Core Issues in Adoption," published in the early 1980s, outlined the seven lifelong issues experienced by all members of the adoption triad: loss, rejection, guilt and shame, grief, identity, intimacy, and mastery/control.
Families with adopted children face different challenges than those with biological children. Even adopted children who feel positive about their adoption experience, can face a variety of emotions as they become teenagers. Typical rites of passage may have additional facets for adopted adolescents. They may question their identity and value, suffer from low self-esteem, and experience grief and loss.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing issues related to being an adult child of an alcoholic and its impact on your relationship, reducing and alleviating symptoms, while addressing their root causes:
The alcoholic family is one of chaos, inconsistency, unclear roles, and illogical thinking. Arguments are pervasive, and violence or even incest may play a role. Children in alcoholic families suffer trauma as acute as soldiers in combat; they also carry the trauma like an albatross throughout their lives.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing relationship issues related to alcohol use / abuse, reducing symptoms, while addressing the root causes of the alcohol use / abuse:
Alcohol use / abuse can cause problems at work, home, school, and in relationships, leaving you feeling isolated, helpless, or ashamed. It’s not always easy to see when your drinking has crossed the line from moderate or social use to problem drinking. But if you consume alcohol to cope with difficulties or to avoid feeling bad, you’re in potentially dangerous territory. Alcoholism and alcohol abuse can sneak up on you, so it’s important to be aware of the warning signs and take steps if you recognize them. Understanding the problem is the first step to overcoming it.
Marriage Counseling focused on Healthy vs Unhealthy expressions of anger, addressing root causes, and how to express anger in nondestructive ways:
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing relationship issues related to anxiety, reducing symptoms, while addressing the root causes of the anxiety:
Anxiety is defined as, a persistent or chronic, unsubstantiated concern that causes significant distress, resulting in disturbances in your social life, or interferes with your course work, or professional life. Individuals with anxiety disorders amy avoid common social situations for fear of being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated. Panic attacks or persistent worry and anticipation of panic attacks, are common symptoms as are feelings of terror or impending doom. Other symptoms may include, an apparent irrational fear or avoidance of an object, place, or situation.
Marriage / Relationship Counseling focused on addressing issues related to bi-sexuality, reducing and relieving symptoms, while addressing the root causes of those symptoms:
Bisexual man & women might be at higher risk of depression and anxiety. In addition, youth who identify themselves bisexual might have a higher risk of depression and attempted suicide. Contributing factors could include social alienation, discrimination, rejection by loved ones, abuse and violence. The problem might be more severe for bisexual men & women who try to hide their sexual orientation and those who lack social support.
Marriage & Family Counseling focused on addressing and easing the way to becoming a blended family:
Marriage and family therapy is one of the most effective ways to help a blended family work through the issues that each member brings to the new family. Children of blended families may experience a wide variety of emotions such as jealousy, rivalry, discontentment, confusion, animosity, loyalty and loss.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing and diminishing the negitive effects of your individual upbringing, and its impact on your relationship:
Whether you come from an abusive family or a just a "normal" dysfunctional family, childhood issues can create problems in all areas of your life if you are not careful. Sometimes when we come from an abusive or dysfunctional home, we have issues in friendships as well as more intimate relationships. If you have trouble making and maintaining friends, & relationships it may signal a deeper issue.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing and diminishing symptoms related to childhood sexual abuse, while addressing any issues with healthy intimacy in your relationship:
Sexual abuse is usually committed by someone known to, and often trusted by the child. This frequently results in a great sense of confusion, betrayal, and, often, guilt. Guilty feelings typically arise if the victim, experienced any pleasurable feelings, or having trusted the abuser, now feels that their abuser will "get in trouble". Abusers often lie to, and reward their victims, and sometimes threaten the loved ones of their victims in order to keep the secret, which adds another layer to the emotional trauma.
Couples Counseling focused on addressing issues related to co-parenting, reducing and soothing symptoms, while developing functional co-parenting strategies:
Research shows that children tend to adjust to divorce with less difficulty when they are able to maintain the family relationships that are important to them, and when their parents are able to cooperate with each other. Ongoing conflict and interruptions in parenting are typically the issues that create more distress for children than the divorce itself.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing and easing the effects of codependent relationships, and their impact on your current relationship:
Codependent relationships are not only painful, but are sometimes destructive. Codependents have problems receiving the good stuff that relationships should offer. Codependents spend their precious lives worrying about things and people over which they have no control.
Marriage Counseling focused on constructive communication techniques and strategies:
Communication problems are an issue for almost everyone, and every relationship. Not many people can say they are master communicators. People frequently struggle to say what they mean, whether by intentionally or because they just don’t know how. We often misunderstand each other, and at times we may think we understand, when the reality is, we don’t. This is where an experienced individual / marriage counselor can be invaluable, their unbiased point of view can assist you in hearing what is meant and assist you in resolving conflict.
Marriage Counseling focused on constructive conflict resolution techniques and strategies:
Conflict in intimate relationships arises from many areas, including communication, intimacy, values, perceptions, parenting and the list goes on. When a conflict triggers strong feelings, a deep personal need is often at the core of the problem. These needs can be a need to feel safe and secure, a need to feel respected and valued, or a need for greater closeness and intimacy.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing and reducing symptoms related to controlling behaviors, and addressing their root causes:
Control issues are characterized by a person’s need to micromanage and orchestrate the actions and behaviors of others. Control is most often a reaction to fear. There may be many reasons fear plays a role in one's life. People who struggle with the need to be in control often fear being at the mercy of others. Control issues can develop from traumatic events that created a feeling of helplessness and chaos, thus causing a person to crave control in a disproportionate and unhealthy manner.
Death and dying issues - Issues related to death and dying can be stressful for the whole family, including but not limited to the person who is dying, but also their immediate and extended family as well as their care-givers. A trained professional can help everyone deal with moods, mental well being, and emotional pain. They can also assist with depression, and anxiety. Additionally, a professional can provide end-of-life counseling to the individual who is passing, their families; and advocate for the best medical care.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing and alleviating the effects of depression and anxiety, and their impact on your relationship:
Most people people feel anxious or depressed at times, some experience these feelings daily or nearly daily for no apparent reason, making it difficult to carry on with normal, everyday functioning. These people may have an anxiety disorder, depression, or both. It is not uncommon for someone with an anxiety disorder to also suffer from depression or vice versa. Nearly one-half of those diagnosed with depression are also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. The good news is that these disorders are both treatable, separately and together.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing relationship issues related to depression, reducing symptoms, while addressing the root causes of the depression:
Depression is a medical illness that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Depression can cause physical symptoms, too. Also called major depression, major depressive disorder and clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave. Depression can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and depression may make you feel as if life isn't worth living.
Couples Counseling focused on addressing divorce related issues and their impact on your family, transitioning to a co-parenting relationship, while reducing and alleviating stress:
Divorce is a difficulty time for all involved . Therapy assists families with working through the difficult process, that includes getting through the painful emotions, considering the best interests of children and developing good co-parenting relations.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing relationship issues related to eating disorders, reducing and soothing symptoms, while addressing the root causes:
Becasue in our society we continue to value thinness almost everyone worries about their weight at least from time to time. However, individuals with eating disorders take these worries and concerns to extremes, and develop abnormal eating habits that threaten their well-being and in many cases, even their lives. These are serious issues that trained professionals can assist you with.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing issues related to emotional affairs, reducing and soothing symptoms, while addressing the root causes of the emotional affair:
Emotional relationships venture into dangerous territory. They may not initially lead to physical involvement, but they can still devastate marriages. It might have started with a conversation over the Internet, or with a seemingly innocent friendship in the workplace. These romances may seem harmless — perhaps even "safe" alternatives to cheating on your spouse. The truth is, such relationships venture into dangerous territory; they may not initially lead to physical involvement, but they can still devastate marriages.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing issues related to inlaw relationships and their impact on your relationship, reducing and alleviating symptoms, while addressing the root causes:
If you have disagreements with your in-laws, your spouse may feel caught in the middle between parents and you. You, meanwhile, have obligations to in-laws and spouse—and children, if you have any. When you married, you also became part of another family with its own set of expectations. You need to recognize and respect those—within limits, this is where a qualfied therapist can help both of you establish healthy boundaries.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing compulsive gambling or an obsession with gambling, reducing and alleviating symptoms, while addressing their root causes:
Whether you bet on sports, scratch cards, roulette, poker, or slots—in a casino or online—problem gambling can strain relationships, interfere with work, and lead to financial catastrophe. You may even do things you never thought you would, like stealing money to gamble or pay your debts. You may think you can’t stop but, with the right help, you can overcome a gambling problem or addiction and regain control of your life. The first step is recognizing and acknowledging the problem.
Marriage / Relationship Counseling focused on addressing issues related to the gay life style, reducing and relieving symptoms, while addressing the root causes of those symptoms:
Gay men are frequently at higher risk for depression and anxiety issues. Youth who identify themselves as gay often are at a higher risk for depression and suicide attempts. Factors contributing to this may include discrimination, social alienation, and rejection by loved ones. Gay men who try to hide their sexual orientation, including those who lack social support, often have more difficulty.
Marriage / Relationship Counseling focused on addressing gender identity related issues, reducing and mitigating symptoms, while addressing the root causes of those symptoms:
Gender -- being male or female -- is a basic element that helps make up an individual's personality and sense of self. Gender identity disorder is a condition in which a male or female feels a strong identification with the opposite sex. A person with this disorder often experiences great discomfort regarding his or her actual anatomic gender. People with gender identity disorder may act and present themselves as members of the opposite sex and may express a desire to alter their bodies. The disorder affects an individual's self-image, and can impact the person's mannerisms, behavior, and dress.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing and allaying the effects of grief and loss, and it's impact on your relationship:
Grief is your emotional reaction to a significant loss. The words sorrow and heartache are often used to describe feelings of grief. Whether you lose a beloved person, animal, place, or object, or a valued way of life (such as your job, marriage, or good health), some level of grief will naturally follow.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing issues related to infidelity, reducing and soothing symptoms, while addressing the root causes of infidelity:
Infidelity in a committed relationship can create a significant strain on both partners and on the relationship itself. An affair often signals the end a relationship, but not always, with competent professional assistance and a commitment from both partners, sometimes it can be a significant turning point for the better. Often an affair may take the other partner completely by surprise, leaving that person feeling devastated, aggrieved, betrayed, jealous, confused, and alone. Some individuals and couples seek therapy at such a time to help recover and move on.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing compulsive Internet use or an obsession with using the Internet, reducing and mitigating symptoms, while addressing their root causes:
While time spent on-line can be hugely productive, compulsive Internet use can interfere with daily life, work, and relationships. When you feel more comfortable with your on-line friends than your real ones, or you can’t stop yourself from playing games, gambling, or compulsively surfing—even when it has negative consequences in your life—then you may be using the Internet too much.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing and soothing issues related to intimacy, and their impact on your relationship, while addressing the root causes of these issues:
An intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves emotional and or physical intimacy. Intimate relationships require and can have issues with communication, transparency, vulnerability and mutual trust.
Marriage / Relationship Counseling focused on addressing issues related to being lesbian, reducing and relieving symptoms, while addressing the root causes of those symptoms:
Lesbian women might be at higher risk of depression and anxiety. In addition, youth who identify themselves as lesbian, might have a higher risk of depression and attempted suicide. Contributing factors could include social alienation, discrimination, rejection by loved ones, abuse and violence. The problem might be more severe for lesbians who try to hide their sexual orientation and those who lack social support.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing and attenuating the effects of life transitions, and their impact on your relationship:
In the simplest terms, transition is change. In a broader sense however, transitions are life’s way of asking us to reexamine our present way of being. These transitions can be predictable such as a child leaving for college or marriage, or they can be unpredictable, such as the sudden death of a loved one or a traumatic accident. Whatever the degree or intensity of the event, every transition we experience has one thing in common. It forces us to make changes to our existing life. And with change, comes resistance. A major life transition literally closes one chapter of our life, and starts a new one, putting us in a new place and direction that we have not walked before. It is often a very difficult adjustment as we endure intense feelings of fear, doubt, and uncertainty.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing relationship issues related to a midlife crisis, reducing and attenuating symptoms, while addressing the root causes of the crisis:
A midlife crisis is experienced by many people during the midlife transition when they realize that life may be more than halfway over. Sometimes, a crisis can be triggered by transitions experienced in these years, such as andropause or menopause, the death of parents or other causes of grief, unemployment or underemployment, realizing that a job or career is hated but not knowing how else to earn an equivalent living, or children leaving home. People may reassess their achievements in terms of their dreams. The result may be a desire to make significant changes in core aspects of day-to-day life or situation, such as in career, work-life balance, marriage, romantic relationships, large expenditures, or physical appearance.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing issues related to mood swings, reducing and diminishing symptoms, while addressing the root causes of the mood swings:
Some moodiness is likely a part of everyone’s life; sometimes we feel happy, other times we are sad; some days we have lots of energy, while at other times we may be fatigued and unmotivated. When such mood changes interfere with our ability to work or go to school, when they harm our relationships significantly, when they cause us to miss sleep, abuse drugs, or behave in ways we later regret, or when they lead to risky behaviors, thoughts of suicide, or losing touch with reality, our mood requires professional attention.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing relationship issues related to having an open relationship, reducing and relieving symptoms, while addressing their root causes:
Couples involved in open marriages or relationships typically adopt a set of ground rules to guide their activities. When these rules are broken the relationship and experience and existential threat, resulting in the fundamental breakdown of the relationship. Communication deteriorates into arguments and fights, trust and jealousy issues can wreak havoc on an otherwise happy relationship.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing and allaying the effects of panic attacks, and their impact on your relationship:
A panic attack is a sudden, distinct episode of intense and overwhelming anxiety that often occurs without warning or any obvious reason. The experience of a panic attack is far more powerful and extreme than the feeling of being “highly stressed”, tense, or worried. The individual may feel like sudden death is imminent and that at any moment a terrible trauma is about to happen, or that they are about to die of a heart attack.
Marriage Counseling focused on Healthy vs Unhealthy methods of parenting children, addressing root causes, and developing mutually agreeable parenting strategies:
No one is born with natural parenting skills. They are something that is learned from watching our own parents or from our own care givers. We do what we have learned, or what we have not learned! It is learned behavior.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing relationship issues related to phobias, reducing and relieving symptoms, while addressing their root causes:
Phobias occur when an individual experiences an intense, irrational, and persistent fear of something specific. A phobia differs from a panic attack in that there is a definable object, situation, person, or activity that the individual fears. Phobias are identified as an unreasonable and excessive desire to avoid the item that is causing the fear response. Phobias are the most common form of anxiety disorders affecting between 8% and 18% of individuals according to the National Institute of Mental Health.
Marriage / Relationship Counseling focused on addressing iissues relating a polyamorous life style, reducing and lessening symptoms, while addressing their root causes:
Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved; people seeking to build long-term relationships with more than one person on mutually agreeable grounds, with sex as only one aspect of their relationships. Relationships are ideally built upon values of trust, loyalty, the negotiation of boundaries, and compassion, as well as overcoming jealousy, possessiveness, and the rejection of restrictive cultural standards. Powerful intimate bonding among three or more persons may occur. The skills and attitudes needed to manage polyamorous relationships add challenges that are not often found in the traditional "dating-and-marriage" model of long-term relationships. Polyamory may require a more fluid and flexible approach to love relationship, and yet operate on a complex system of boundaries or rules.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing compulsive pornography use or an obsession with pornography, reducing and easing symptoms, while addressing their root causes:
The psychological impact of exposing yourself to pornography is often underestimated. Repeated exposure to such images leads to these images being imprinted in your mind. Later on you struggle to control your own thoughts as these images and the accompanied fantasies around sex start to dominate your thinking.
Premarital Counseling focused on developing healthy relationship strategies, and tools for a long and happy marriage:
What does premarital counseling look like? It is as varying and unique as the personality and background of the therapist. Finding someone that you can trust, and who honors your unique situation, is essential. All too many couples get caught up in spending time planning their weddings without developing a plan for their marriage. The early stages of a relationship, when the feelings you have for your partner are usually positive, is the ideal time to become more conscious and intentional in the ways you interact and work together. Counseling can give you insights into where your particular relationship dynamics might be heading in the wrong direction. There is an educational aspect to pre-marital counseling as well, so that you can learn better communication skills and leran how to negotiate conflict so that you can resolve your differences in a way that actually strengthens your connection.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing and reducing symptoms related to post traumatic stress, addressing the root causes of the trauma:
Some symptoms of PTSD are ongoing and recurring nightmares, flashbacks, and or emotional numbing relating to a traumatic event in your life that occurred several months or years ago.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing self harming behaviors or an obsession with self harm, reducing and alleviating symptoms, while addressing their root causes:
The compulsion to hurt oneself – typically by cutting but sometimes burning. This is usually a clear sign of intense inner emotional turmoil, anxiety, and suppressed emotions. While this behavior has long been associated with Borderline Personality Disorder, it is more and more being seen an element of depression, severe anxiety, and sometimes post traumatic stress. Self harming often includes secrets, rituals, and a cycle of anxiety, impulse, resistance to the self harming behavior, building tension, release ( engaging in the self harming behavior ), and, then often feelings of shame…then the cycle repeats with more anxiety.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing sex and intimacy related issues, reducing and mitigating symptoms, while addressing their root causes:
Part of being intimate is being sexual together. When there is a problem in the sexual relationship it can be very difficult for couples. Loss of desire can be common in both men and women. The partner who does not want to have sex may seem as if they have ‘shut down’. It may seem as if he or she never initiates sex or has lost interest in the other partner, this can lead to other difficult feelings, ranging from minor frustrations to severe distress.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing an unusually intense sex drive or an obsession with sex, reducing and mitigating symptoms, while addressing their root causes:
Sex and the thought of sex tend to dominate the sex addict's thinking, making it difficult to work or engage in healthy personal relationships. Sex addicts engage in distorted thinking, often rationalizing and justifying their behavior and blaming others for problems.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing relationship issues related to sleep disorders, reducing and relieving symptoms, while addressing their root causes:
Most of us have experienced trouble sleeping at one time or another. This is normal and usually temporary, due to stress or other outside factors. But if sleep problems are a regular occurrence and interfere with your daily life, and or your relationship you may be suffering from a sleep disorder. Sleep disorders cause more than just sleepiness. The lack of quality sleep can have a negative impact on your energy, emotional balance, relationships, and health.
Marriage Counseling focused on developing constructive stress management techniques and strategies:
Stress symptoms may be affecting your health, frequent headaches, insomnia, chest pains, irritability, decreased productivity, and even forgetfulness. Stress may actually be the root cause of all of these symptoms. Stress symptoms can affect your body, your thoughts and feelings, and especially your behavior. Being able to recognize common stress symptoms can give you a jump on managing them. Stress that's left unchecked can contribute to health problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity and diabetes.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing relationship issues related to substance use / abuse, reducing symptoms, while addressing the root causes of the substance use / abuse:
Substance use can cause difficulty in every area of your life, work, home, school, and your relationships, leaving you feeling lonely, powerless, and remorseful. It's not always easy to see when your substance use has crossed the line from "moderate or social use" to problem abuse. But if you use substances to cope with difficulties or to avoid feeling bad, you're in potentially dangerous territory. Substance use / abuse can sneak up on you, so it's important to be aware of the warning signs and take steps if you recognize them. Understanding the problem is the first step to overcoming it.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing relationship issues related to being a survivor of abuse, reducing and attenuating symptoms, while addressing their root causes:
Living through a period of physical, sexual, or severe emotional abuse can leave psychic wounds. Whether the abuse was inflicted as a child or an adult, survivors often struggle to cope and lead happy, peaceful lives. Intense, often negative feelings are common, and survivors of abuse should understand that having difficulty coping with upsetting memories, blocks to intimacy, anxiety, and other remnants of abuse is fairly typical, and can be worked through.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing relationship issues related to trauma, reducing symptoms, while addressing the root causes of the trauma:
If you’ve gone through a traumatic experience, you may be struggling with strong, emotions, troubling memories, or a sense of constant danger. You may feel nothing, disconnected from those around you, and unable to trust. When traumatic things happen, it can take time to get past the painful memories and feel safe again.
Marriage Counseling focused on addressing and diminishing symptoms related to trust, and addressing the root causes for the trust issues:
Trust is a fundamental human experience, at the root of all trust issues is a past betrayal. Whether abused as a child or cheated on by a spouse, the betrayed person will go through life seeing herself as less desirable than others, or believing herself to be unlovable. She/he will keep others at a distance, avoiding intimate relationships. Only by working through these trust issues - or, rather, lack of trust issues - can the person learn to maintain a healthy boundary while still letting others in.
Counseling focused on addressing relationship issues related to alcohol use / abuse, reducing symptoms, while addressing the root causes of the alcohol use / abuse:
Alcohol use / abuse can cause problems at work, home, school, and in relationships, leaving you feeling isolated, helpless, or ashamed. It's not always easy to see when your drinking has crossed the line from moderate or social use to problem drinking. But if you consume alcohol to cope with difficulties or to avoid feeling bad, you're in potentially dangerous territory. Alcoholism and alcohol abuse can sneak up on you, so it's important to be aware of the warning signs and take steps if you recognize them. Understanding the problem is the first step to overcoming it.
Counseling focused on Healthy vs Unhealthy expressions of anger, addressing root causes, and how to express anger in nondestructive ways:
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems--problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.
Counseling focused on addressing and alleviating the effects of depression and anxiety, and their impact on your relationship:
Counseling focused on addressing and allaying the effects of grief and loss, and its impact on your relationship:
Counseling focused on addressing issues related to infidelity, reducing and soothing symptoms, while addressing the root causes of infidelity:
Infidelity in a committed relationship can create a significant strain on both partners and on the relationship itself. An affair often signals the end of a relationship, but not always. With competent professional assistance and a commitment from both partners, sometimes it can be a significant turning point for the better. Often an affair may take the other partner completely by surprise, leaving that person feeling devastated, aggrieved, betrayed, jealous, confused, and alone. Some individuals and couples seek therapy at such a time to help recover and move on.
Counseling focused on addressing issues related to a midlife crisis, reducing and attenuating symptoms, while addressing the root causes of the crisis:
Counseling focused on addressing issues related to self esteem & personal growth Issues, reducing and easing symptoms, while addressing the root causes:
Life is full of challenges, but often we don’t move forward until change is forced upon us. Upheaval forces us to re-evaluate who we are and how we got into the situation we are in. Personal growth refers to learning new and better ways to deal with life, for example learning to understand and handle emotions more effectively, or learning to communicate better.
Counseling focused on addressing relationship issues related to sleep disorders, reducing and relieving symptoms, while addressing their root causes:
Most of us have experienced trouble sleeping at one time or another. This is normal and usually temporary, due to stress or other outside factors. But if sleep problems are a regular occurrence and interfere with your daily life, you may be suffering from a sleep disorder. Sleep disorders cause more than just sleepiness. The lack of quality sleep can have a negative impact on your energy, emotional balance, and health.
Counseling focused on developing constructive stress management techniques and strategies:
Stress symptoms may be affecting your health, even though you might not realize it. You may think illness is to blame for that nagging headache, your frequent insomnia or your decreased productivity at work. But stress may actually be the culprit. Indeed, stress symptoms can affect your body, your thoughts and feelings, and your behavior. Being able to recognize common stress symptoms can give you a jump on managing them. Stress that's left unchecked can contribute to health problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity and diabetes.
Counseling focused on addressing and alleviating the after effects of a trauma or a tramautic experience(s):
If you've gone through a traumatic experience, you may be struggling with strong, emotions, troubling memories, or a sense of constant danger. You may feel nothing, disconnected from those around you, and unable to trust. When traumatic things happen, it can take time to get past the painful memories and feel safe again.
Cognitive behavioral therapy is a counseling approach that aims to teach the person new skills on how to solve problems concerning dysfunctional emotions, behaviors and cognitions through a goal-oriented, systematic procedure.
Cognitive therapy addresses depression and other emotional challenges, by identifying troubled thinking, behavior, and emotional responses.
These are counseling sessions that range in length from a half day to several days. They tend to be very focused and designed to bring about changes quickly.
Emotionally focused therapy focuses people’s struggle to manage emotions and teaches how to use them constructively. The therapist assists in the identification, exploration, and transformation of emotional experiences. Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples provides a well researched road map for helping couples grow closer and resolve relational problems. The model is based on the science of emotions, attachment theory, humanistic psychology and family systems theory. EFT helps couples move from distress in their relationship to a safer, more fulfilling relationship.
Works with families and couples as a whole system, to nurture change and development. It tends to focus on change in terms of the interactions between family members. It emphasizes family relationships as an important factor in psychological health.
Individual counseling is an opportunity to talk confidentially with a counselor about personal concerns and to facilitate personal growth. The counselor and client work together to define and discuss personal issues and to reach mutually agreed upon goals. Addressing a range of issues such as: Depression, anxiety (panic attacks, test anxiety, social anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorders), eating disorders, relationship difficulties, family conflict, grief and loss, self esteem, sexuality, substance abuse, sexual assault/trauma, anger management.
Life Coaching is a service that is profoundly different from therapy, or counseling. The coaching process is a present and future focused process. It addresses specific personal projects, business successes, general conditions and transitions in the client's personal life, relationships or profession by examining what is going on right now, discovering what your obstacles or challenges might be, and choosing a course of action to make your life be what you want it to be.
Marriage counseling is a type of therapy for a married couple or established couple that assists in resolving problems in the relationship. Typically, two people attend counseling sessions together to discuss specific issues. Marriage counseling helps couples learn to deal more effectively with problems, and can help prevent problems from becoming more serious. Research shows that marriage counseling, when effective, tends to improve a person's physical as well as mental health, in addition to improving the relationship.
For almost a decade I have been battling with anxiety, feeling alone and having these internal negative conversations with my self at all hours of the day and night. Eventually, the anxiety led to depression. Symptomatically, I was having extreme night sweats, loss of appetite, severe muscle cramping, insomnia (maybe 1 to 2 hours of sleep per night) and nausea. My quality of life went from an athletic, outdoorsy social person to an extremely miserable antisocial hermit that would spend days in bed sick and feeling depressed. So many negative thoughts would enter my head and I couldn't get rid of them no matter what I did. I went to doctors, specialists, therapists, tried over the counter medications, pharmaceutical medications, alcohol, and marijuana. The little relief I would get in the moment would be short lived only to find myself feeling more depressed and hopeless than I did before. I really was at the end of my rope! I, then, came upon Dr. Fleming who was my last hope. Not completely understanding what it was that Dr. Fleming did, and, being so desperate I had to give him a chance. After spending four days being treated, I can only say that I am a different person today. The recurring negative thoughts, depression, anxiety and insomnia are basically gone. My worst fear was that all of that would return. It's been almost two months now, and each day keeps getting better. My whole outlook on life and myself has changed. I don't feel the need nor have the desire to self medicate to escape anymore. I am so very grateful to a man that sincerely cares and has helped me get my life back!!
Dear Doc, I just wanted to take a minute and let you know how impressed we are with you and your help with our son. Last summer we started noticing some very serious issues with him and getting addicted to drugs. He has always had impulse control issues, low self esteem, ADHD, learning disabilities and depression, but the drug problem was the last straw. I was constantly praying for wisdom and guidance on anything my husband and I could do. It was then that I came across your profile and clicked on it to see what you were all about. Because I feel that it was no coincidence that I found you, I know God had a plan and it was for us to hire you to help our son! I remember the first time he agreed to talk on the phone with you, and how you made him feel like there is hope and you could help him. His face lit up and it was the first time he was willing to actually take steps to get help. After the first visit we could see an improvement in his mood, decision making and his general demeanor. It is just amazing what you can do with your program and a person's brain. I just can't thank you enough. You are a wonderful person! Your passion for helping people is so obvious and it is simply amazing what improvements he has made. Your work has really saved his life! I know God put you in our lives at just the right time.
Kristi and Dennis
South Bend, IN.
"I have been afflicted with anxiety for many years and struggled daily with worry and panic until I met Dr. Fleming. I am a 53 year old entrepreneur and have started and managed multiple businesses from manufacturing and building to security and surveillance. Everything in my life was fine until about 2005 when anxiety, panic and worry set in. I believe the tremendous amount of stress I incurred from business, raising family, extreme hours and dealing with problems, and issues over many years attributed to this illness. I lived with this problem for several years not knowing what was going on with me, it was Christmas 2008 when I felt like I was having a heart attack that I rushed myself to the hospital only to find out there was absolutely nothing wrong with my heart or anything else for that matter. This happened to me several times through out the next couple of years. I consulted my long time physician and he told me that I had acute anxiety and put me on Xanax. This did seem to ease the anxious moments for a while but really played havoc with my memory. I then began looking for a more holistic approach to cure myself of this dreaded problem as it was affecting everything I did including family, work and relationships. I started reading, watching and listening to everything I could find related to anxiety, worry, panic, etc. some of the material helped me understand what was going on but it was tough for me to completely help myself. I then realized that I needed to seek professional help. I researched, called and questioned several Dr's, therapist and mental health professionals and did not like any of the methods I saw. In my research I came across Dr. Kevin Fleming, I gave him a call and we spoke about my issues for a while, I was convinced that he knew what he was doing and decided to retain his services. Dr. Fleming started out with a very professional approach to understanding exactly what I was going through. We first met face to face over lunch and he let me explain my situation thoroughly. He then set forth a plan of action for me to follow which I did on a daily basis. We would communicate back and forth daily via e-mail, text and phone and then meet to move to the next level. I am very impressed with Doc's professionalism, knowledge and understanding of the mind and neuro system. Through the use of text, tests and written/oral material he was able to analyze my issues and allow me to specifically focus on changing my thought processes which changed my life. This was a 90 day Journey that has allowed me to live again. The final stage was the use his innovative quantum-based neurotechnology which is a process of re-aligning the neural networks back to the original state that they need to be working in. This too was amazing. I want to Thank Dr. Fleming for helping me through a very troublesome time in my life. I continue to this day using the techniques that he has taught and consulted me on. Thanks Doc!"
CEO, Laser Specialties
"Thank you everyone for your interest in learning more about me and my unique and innovative way I get people to change and unstuck. The best "story" of me, who I am, what I believe and how I do things can be found here. Enjoy, and dig in a little more personally into my background and thinking: